TOP TEN MEGAN FOX QUOTES
Move over Jay Leno, the hot Megan Fox might give you stiff competition. Famously known as Transformer eye candy, these top ten Megan Fox quotes could qualify her to do other shows as well. As an added bonus, guys at bars could even watch Megan Fox on the programs with the mute on.
- AS OPRAH: I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.
- ON ACCESS HOLLYWOOD: Zac Efron is my obsession, we're the same person. We're not actually here, it's like Janet and Michael Jackson. He just puts on his wig and a dress, and it's me, and you don't know that. It's one of the greatest mysteries of all time.
- AS ROGER EBERT: Well let me tell you what [High School Musical] is really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron's dad….And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there's music involved. You have to get stoned to watch it.
- ON PROJECT RUNWAY: Really my only job is to look attractive. I was so angry about that, that I went in the opposite direction. I turned into a really butch bull dyke for, like, six months... Then I went in the other direction. From being a giant motorcycle-riding lesbian, I turned into a zombie.
- AS DR. PHIL: I think people are born bisexual and the make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.
- AS DR. RUTH: I really enjoy having sex, and that's offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which is sad. I haven't met a lot of men who've said, 'You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are!' That's because they wish their wives or girlfriends would have more sex with them.
- AS JERRY SPRINGER: I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard.
- AS JOAN RIVERS: Oh my God! Screen kissing is gross. This one kid I had to kiss had just eaten. And he passed a piece of whatever it was into my mouth. Not on purpose, like it was in his tooth or something. And it was really salty. I almost cried. I was a bitch for the rest of the day.
- ON REALITY TELEVISION: I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. Friends will tell me, "Megan, you totally pinched a loaf in my toilet and didn't flush.
- ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL: If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it's like-you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.